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Thursday of week 38 (my weeks actually start on Sundays!, convenient)
I'm *loving* being on maternity leave. It's so nice to not have to go into work every day! I really like having the option of just staying in bed all morning... though to be honest, I am generally up at about 7. I wear really comfy clothes, and haven't bothered with a bra in over a week! It's great!
I feel pretty good too. Because I'm able to take it easy, the pregnancy really doesn't feel that hard right now. I mean- it's still fairly uncomfortable! I'd love to lay back on the couch instead of bouncing on my blue ball... but so many women have it much worse!
I've decided to not weigh in again until after the baby is born. The last time I did I weighed like 238, and I think if I saw the scale reach 240 I'd have an actual panic attack. Best to ignore it for a few more weeks.
I had a GP appointment on Monday. She said everything looks fine... whatever that means. I swear these appointments are all the same. I sit down, she takes my blood pressure, checks my pee, then has me lay down to listen to the baby's heart and feel that the head is still down, and measure the bump. Apparently she is still measuring the bump as big (it was 41 cm) but she refuses to tell me if the baby is big or not. She says there is no way to know. I think that's odd, because the girls in my yoga and NCT have doctors telling them how much their babies are weighing already! It's not fair. I ask her questions, and she basically just says "what did the midwife say?". Great. But other than the 41cm thing, everything looks fine.
I have noticed the movement decrease somewhat this week. It's got me a little bit worried... though I guess it's normal when they start to run out of room. They are still squirming and kicking some, but it's not nearly as frequent as it used to be. Yesterday I did a 10 minute test and counted 24 movements- which is more than enough according to my book. I just wish I knew for sure that everything was ok.
I don't think the head is "engaged" yet. I still find it easy enough to walk at a fairly normal pace, and there's no waddling. This tends to change if I get really tired, but I never get that tired anymore. David and I walked to Wimbledon Village for coffee on Sunday. We probably walked a little over 3 miles, and I was fine.
I'm not eating well at all. Waaay too much carbs and sugar! I'm finding it really hard to get the veggies in. I feel like a terrible mother for not providing a nutritious enough diet for the kid... but whenever I try to think of a way to get more veggies in I either blank or feel completely unenthusiastic about it. I'm not overeating though... 2-3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks a day. A snack is usually something like a spoonfull of peanutbutter and nuttella, or a small pot of yogurt, or a glass of milk. Meals tend to be a bowl of cereal, pasta, bagels, or sandwiches. This week I've been really enjoying egg salad on crumpets! Bit weird, but surprisingly yummy!
Tonight is a full moon. So far I feel fine, so I don't think it's going to do anything. It doesn't feel real to me that my due date is a week from Sunday. I have a feeling that the baby is going to be late- but I think that that's because I can't actually imagine me waking up some day in the next 9 days and going into labour! It just doesn't feel like something that can actually happen to me. And so far, there is no indication from my body that it disagrees with me. Well, perhaps some Braxton Hicks here and there... maybe... it's hard to say.
I keep looking for a "show"- but nothing. It's a weird feeling; the waiting. I'm dreadfully ready to not be pregnant anymore. I'm, honestly, slightly bored. I love the free time and the sleep and the quiet though. I have no idea what it'll actually be like to have a baby in the flat. Seems unreal. I also really want it to be over. I'm tired of having random little panics about the birth. I want to be on the other end of it!
I'm also having a hard time not worrying about stuff. I'm worried that the baby will die. I'm worried that the baby will have a terrible disability, I'm worried that labour will be too hard, I'm worried that introducing a child into our relationship will tear David and I apart, I'm worried that I won't find a work/home balance, I'm worried about childcare, I'm worried that we'll go into serious debt. I'm even worried about stuff like how my recovery will go and if I'll be able to breast feed (or if breast feeding will hurt too much to keep it up).
This week I discovered that we don't get a choice about dual citizenship. Because I'm an American and have lived in America for at least 5 years, the baby automatically gets citizenship. I thought we had a choice- nope. This means that in addition to everything else, I need to make an appointment at the embassy, register the birth, get a SSN, and a passport. The baby won't be allowed into the US without a US passport. I also will need to have a witnessed letter from David to travel to the states with the baby. There's just so much to think about!
David is stressed too. He's been reading a lot about labour and stuff. He is stressed about the change in our lives, he is stressed about the birth, and he's stressed about work. He's excited and all that, but I think the pressure is mounting for him as the due date slowly creeps up on us.
My mom is going nuts with baby stuff. She's doing a babybook for us, which is really sweet! But she has me taking countless pictures of inanimate objects to put in- and while a few are special and I can totally understand, there are some that I really just don't care about. Like how PHS gave me a gift card for amazon and I bought bin liners for the diaper genie with them. Why would I want pictures of bin liners? I wish she didn't know about those purchases that I made, because she's counting them as gifts, and they really aren't. I'm sort of not telling her about a number of other gifts that just aren't as important to me (which I know sounds bad! but they aren't). Like one of my student's parents got us a cute Gruffalo outfit. It cost a fiver from Sainburys (I know because I saw it there). It's totally sweet of her, and I appreciate it- but it's not worth documenting in the baby book. She also asked me today if the baby will call me mom or mum, and then before I could answer said that she thinks they should say "mom" because mum makes her think of mummies. I told her it would be mum, because we're in England. She said that they should be capable of saying "mom" even though we're in England. Sigh. And she wants SO MANY pictures of everything! She is coping with not being able to be close by living through pictures. She wants pictures of every stage of the labour. I'm stressed enough about giving birth without having my picture taken throughout the whole thing! AND it's just going to be me and David, and I need David supporting me, not taking pictures. She is not going to be impressed when we don't have any pictures to show her- though why she would want to see pictures of me on all 4s in the living room or soaking in the tub is beyond me. She's also nagging me to send pictures of giant underpants. The giant underpants are not something that I'm overly happy about, but she thinks they're funny and sends me constant messages nagging me to take a picture of them for her. She doesn't seem to respect my boundaries at all. (And I regret telling her about the giant underpants).
David turns 30 tomorrow. Glad that he's finally in the same decade as me! I'll be 32 on Sunday. I quite liked being 31. I thought it was a good age to be! 32 doesn't feel too bad, but it doesn't feel as nice as 31 did. We're meeting a bunch of friends for lunch on Saturday (assuming there is still no baby). Then we'll have Five Guys (one just opened in Wimbledon!) for lunch for my birthday on Sunday. Then starting Monday I'll be in natural induction mode! I would love for the baby to be born sometime between Monday-Sunday. We'll see how it goes. I realised this week that my due date, Sunday the 15, is mother's day! It's kind of cute :). But I'm also afraid that all of these holidays happening in March means that I won't really get the kind of special days that they would otherwise be. March includes Dave's birthday, my birthday, Bug's birthday, mother's day, and our marriage anniversary. It's nuts!
I'm quite glad that I did so much cleaning in the first 2 weeks of my maternity leave. All of the big jobs are done, and I'm on to maintenance. The laundry is completely up to date, and everything is tidy.. well, except for a sink full of dishes right now, because it's really hard for me to do dishes (it's hard to reach the sink over the bump). Hopefully Dave will do the dishes tonight. I've given Dave a to-do list for around the house... he hasn't done anything on it. Granted, he's been working... but it does feel like he's done less since I've been on leave. I think he feels that since I'm home all day I can do everything. Which is fair... except that I can't do everything. He means well.. but I don't think he has the nesting bug in the same way as me. He doesn't see how come the baby requires the oven to be cleaned! hehe
Speaking of housework and David... he should be home by now, and I haven't started dinner. So I should probably go do that :P
We'll see if we make it to weeks 39 and 40!! :)
I'm *loving* being on maternity leave. It's so nice to not have to go into work every day! I really like having the option of just staying in bed all morning... though to be honest, I am generally up at about 7. I wear really comfy clothes, and haven't bothered with a bra in over a week! It's great!
I feel pretty good too. Because I'm able to take it easy, the pregnancy really doesn't feel that hard right now. I mean- it's still fairly uncomfortable! I'd love to lay back on the couch instead of bouncing on my blue ball... but so many women have it much worse!
I've decided to not weigh in again until after the baby is born. The last time I did I weighed like 238, and I think if I saw the scale reach 240 I'd have an actual panic attack. Best to ignore it for a few more weeks.
I had a GP appointment on Monday. She said everything looks fine... whatever that means. I swear these appointments are all the same. I sit down, she takes my blood pressure, checks my pee, then has me lay down to listen to the baby's heart and feel that the head is still down, and measure the bump. Apparently she is still measuring the bump as big (it was 41 cm) but she refuses to tell me if the baby is big or not. She says there is no way to know. I think that's odd, because the girls in my yoga and NCT have doctors telling them how much their babies are weighing already! It's not fair. I ask her questions, and she basically just says "what did the midwife say?". Great. But other than the 41cm thing, everything looks fine.
I have noticed the movement decrease somewhat this week. It's got me a little bit worried... though I guess it's normal when they start to run out of room. They are still squirming and kicking some, but it's not nearly as frequent as it used to be. Yesterday I did a 10 minute test and counted 24 movements- which is more than enough according to my book. I just wish I knew for sure that everything was ok.
I don't think the head is "engaged" yet. I still find it easy enough to walk at a fairly normal pace, and there's no waddling. This tends to change if I get really tired, but I never get that tired anymore. David and I walked to Wimbledon Village for coffee on Sunday. We probably walked a little over 3 miles, and I was fine.
I'm not eating well at all. Waaay too much carbs and sugar! I'm finding it really hard to get the veggies in. I feel like a terrible mother for not providing a nutritious enough diet for the kid... but whenever I try to think of a way to get more veggies in I either blank or feel completely unenthusiastic about it. I'm not overeating though... 2-3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks a day. A snack is usually something like a spoonfull of peanutbutter and nuttella, or a small pot of yogurt, or a glass of milk. Meals tend to be a bowl of cereal, pasta, bagels, or sandwiches. This week I've been really enjoying egg salad on crumpets! Bit weird, but surprisingly yummy!
Tonight is a full moon. So far I feel fine, so I don't think it's going to do anything. It doesn't feel real to me that my due date is a week from Sunday. I have a feeling that the baby is going to be late- but I think that that's because I can't actually imagine me waking up some day in the next 9 days and going into labour! It just doesn't feel like something that can actually happen to me. And so far, there is no indication from my body that it disagrees with me. Well, perhaps some Braxton Hicks here and there... maybe... it's hard to say.
I keep looking for a "show"- but nothing. It's a weird feeling; the waiting. I'm dreadfully ready to not be pregnant anymore. I'm, honestly, slightly bored. I love the free time and the sleep and the quiet though. I have no idea what it'll actually be like to have a baby in the flat. Seems unreal. I also really want it to be over. I'm tired of having random little panics about the birth. I want to be on the other end of it!
I'm also having a hard time not worrying about stuff. I'm worried that the baby will die. I'm worried that the baby will have a terrible disability, I'm worried that labour will be too hard, I'm worried that introducing a child into our relationship will tear David and I apart, I'm worried that I won't find a work/home balance, I'm worried about childcare, I'm worried that we'll go into serious debt. I'm even worried about stuff like how my recovery will go and if I'll be able to breast feed (or if breast feeding will hurt too much to keep it up).
This week I discovered that we don't get a choice about dual citizenship. Because I'm an American and have lived in America for at least 5 years, the baby automatically gets citizenship. I thought we had a choice- nope. This means that in addition to everything else, I need to make an appointment at the embassy, register the birth, get a SSN, and a passport. The baby won't be allowed into the US without a US passport. I also will need to have a witnessed letter from David to travel to the states with the baby. There's just so much to think about!
David is stressed too. He's been reading a lot about labour and stuff. He is stressed about the change in our lives, he is stressed about the birth, and he's stressed about work. He's excited and all that, but I think the pressure is mounting for him as the due date slowly creeps up on us.
My mom is going nuts with baby stuff. She's doing a babybook for us, which is really sweet! But she has me taking countless pictures of inanimate objects to put in- and while a few are special and I can totally understand, there are some that I really just don't care about. Like how PHS gave me a gift card for amazon and I bought bin liners for the diaper genie with them. Why would I want pictures of bin liners? I wish she didn't know about those purchases that I made, because she's counting them as gifts, and they really aren't. I'm sort of not telling her about a number of other gifts that just aren't as important to me (which I know sounds bad! but they aren't). Like one of my student's parents got us a cute Gruffalo outfit. It cost a fiver from Sainburys (I know because I saw it there). It's totally sweet of her, and I appreciate it- but it's not worth documenting in the baby book. She also asked me today if the baby will call me mom or mum, and then before I could answer said that she thinks they should say "mom" because mum makes her think of mummies. I told her it would be mum, because we're in England. She said that they should be capable of saying "mom" even though we're in England. Sigh. And she wants SO MANY pictures of everything! She is coping with not being able to be close by living through pictures. She wants pictures of every stage of the labour. I'm stressed enough about giving birth without having my picture taken throughout the whole thing! AND it's just going to be me and David, and I need David supporting me, not taking pictures. She is not going to be impressed when we don't have any pictures to show her- though why she would want to see pictures of me on all 4s in the living room or soaking in the tub is beyond me. She's also nagging me to send pictures of giant underpants. The giant underpants are not something that I'm overly happy about, but she thinks they're funny and sends me constant messages nagging me to take a picture of them for her. She doesn't seem to respect my boundaries at all. (And I regret telling her about the giant underpants).
David turns 30 tomorrow. Glad that he's finally in the same decade as me! I'll be 32 on Sunday. I quite liked being 31. I thought it was a good age to be! 32 doesn't feel too bad, but it doesn't feel as nice as 31 did. We're meeting a bunch of friends for lunch on Saturday (assuming there is still no baby). Then we'll have Five Guys (one just opened in Wimbledon!) for lunch for my birthday on Sunday. Then starting Monday I'll be in natural induction mode! I would love for the baby to be born sometime between Monday-Sunday. We'll see how it goes. I realised this week that my due date, Sunday the 15, is mother's day! It's kind of cute :). But I'm also afraid that all of these holidays happening in March means that I won't really get the kind of special days that they would otherwise be. March includes Dave's birthday, my birthday, Bug's birthday, mother's day, and our marriage anniversary. It's nuts!
I'm quite glad that I did so much cleaning in the first 2 weeks of my maternity leave. All of the big jobs are done, and I'm on to maintenance. The laundry is completely up to date, and everything is tidy.. well, except for a sink full of dishes right now, because it's really hard for me to do dishes (it's hard to reach the sink over the bump). Hopefully Dave will do the dishes tonight. I've given Dave a to-do list for around the house... he hasn't done anything on it. Granted, he's been working... but it does feel like he's done less since I've been on leave. I think he feels that since I'm home all day I can do everything. Which is fair... except that I can't do everything. He means well.. but I don't think he has the nesting bug in the same way as me. He doesn't see how come the baby requires the oven to be cleaned! hehe
Speaking of housework and David... he should be home by now, and I haven't started dinner. So I should probably go do that :P
We'll see if we make it to weeks 39 and 40!! :)
